Deeds of the Past and Future Misdeeds
by AbayJ
Summary: Dexter is drawn back to where it began and where it ended. Dexter/OC/Rita.
1. Refuse to Pander

**Title**: Deeds of the Past and Future Misdeeds  
**Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie  
**Disclaimer**: Anything you recognize does not belong to me but the genius, Jeff Lindsay, and anything you do not is mine. Simple.  
**Rating**: M (Due to strong language, sexual content, and violence.)  
**Archiving**: Ask first, the answer is always yes.  
**Fandom**: Dexter  
**Pairings**: Dexter/OC/Rita (Hints of: Dexter/Deb (family way), Rudy/Dexter, Rudy/OC, Rudy/Deb, Deb/Duques)  
**Genre**: Drama/Action/Dark/PWP/AU  
**Time Frame**: Right after Season 1 and before season 2.  
**Summery**: Dexter is drawn back to where it began and where it ended.  
**Author's Note**: Otay, so this is my first Dexter fic and I'm hopping it'll get me through the long months until September 30th. Dexter has became my newest addiction and I decided to write something about it, this came to me when I was VERY bored but I liked the idea and I remembered it. I'm not sure how long this thing will be, so you'll just have to ride it out with me. The characters are a bit OC because I'm only half way through with season 2 and anything they have picked up after season 2 will not be in here. I hope everyone enjoys this and lets me know if I should continue. Review!

* * *

_Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in your own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself, and go on again. -- _Evelyn Underhill

**Prologue: Refuse to Pander**

I walked through the gate, my eyes not seeing, well they saw but I looking at a different time, when the sounds weren't screams and the images weren't seeing my sister taped up on a table while my brother tried to kill her. Instead, I was seeing me and my brother playing. Running around, me chasing him, mom chasing me, and him chasing mom, around and around the big oak tree in the yard.

No wonder I hated rides that went around and around.

Taking a breath, I lifted up the e-mail and read over the words. It was a prank, of course it was. Rudy, I called him that now because it was easier that way. He wasn't Brain, because if I called him Brian, then he was my brother again, and not some faceless victim who deserved my knife. Rudy was dead. Probably ashes somewhere in a old prison office. Someone probably has them framed. After all, the Ice Truck Killer was a fucking legend in Miami.

So the e-mail was a prank. Probably some overly smart kid who had seen the first and second ad, than the newspapers clippings, and put it together. I'd find them and shoo them away, claiming this place was mine.

It wasn't, it had been, but it wasn't now. I had sold it as soon as Rudy was dead. Bled like an animal, just like he had taken his victims. The person who understood me, but Harry's code and Deb's safety was what mattered. Even if I could feel his cold grip still around me.

Looking down, I read the email once more. _'Hey Barbie, wanna play again? Meet where it began and ended. -- Ken.'_

I didn't want to play, not again. Rudy was gone and I was...I was dealing with that. It was a new experience and I didn't want to repeat it with someone who only liked the idea of being Br...Rudy.

Balling the e-mail up, I walk up the path way and reach the step as the door opens. A small petite bottle blond steps out and I run my eyes over her. Only 5'5, maybe 5'6, she wasn't what I expected.

"Dexter?" She asked quietly, her voice carrying a twang, from around here obviously. Same as me. Same as everyone else around me. Florida born and bred but how did she know me? How did she know this place? How did she know I'd come?

"Are you '_Ken_,'" I asked her, deciding to get right to the point and she only nods.

"I am, well I mean I'm not really Ken. My name is Michelle and I've been wanting to talk to you for a very long time. 28 days to be exact." She says, her voice taking on a deeper twang and she reaches for my hand.

I didn't think to remove it, that wasn't normal. I didn't know who this woman was, so Harry's code was in effect here. I had to be normal or people would see what I was. And I had the feeling that she would be able too. As if she saw everything I was and wasn't.

It scared the crap out of me and I didn't scare easy.

"Michelle...what?" I asked as she led me past the door and I stopped. I didn't want to be here. To many memories, memories that were better left alone. Doors that shouldn't be open. Things not even killing could make me forget.

She stops when I stop and turns around, arms folding across her chest. Most of the time I can decipher what people were thinking by the body language, another thing Harry taught me, but with her, she was a mystery. A puzzle and I like puzzles. Puzzles were what I was good at. But I was missing the corner pieces with her and she had me at a disadvantage.

I hated that.

"Michelle Legons." She says simply, her voice taking on an air of confidence, as if the name should have rolled off my tongue without the question.

"And that makes you..." I ask, people told me I had a sarcastic sense of humor. Actually I didn't have one at all. What I said is what I felt, there was no code, no type, it was just who I was. But then again people didn't know who I was, it was the only way to survive and I was all about survival. Harry's code taught me how to do that.

She though, this mysterious woman who knew to much, didn't flinch, didn't frown. She didn't do anything. "I'm the only other person who is alive who knows you Dexter." She mummers and I raise a brow.

What was this? What was she trying to do? It had to be a scam, maybe she was a hooker. Maybe she was a prank. She didn't know me, the only people who did were dead. Harry and Rudy were both gone.

"And who am I?" I asked her and cross my arms as well, a smirk that I didn't feel, but it made it look like I didn't care. Of course, whenever someone said they knew me I cared. Being found out was like raining on a serial killer's parade.

And I was a serial killer.

"You're Brian Moser brother, and you're a serial killer." She says as if she had said it every day of her life. "You're Dexter."

* * *

**Author's Note Two**: Short, but I wanted you to get the feel of the story and let me know if I should continue. Review!

* * *


	2. Following Your Shadow

**Title**: Deeds of the Past and Future Misdeeds  
**Author**: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie  
**Disclaimer**: Anything you recognize does not belong to me but the genius, Jeff Lindsay, and anything you do not is mine. Simple.  
**Rating**: M (Due to strong language, sexual content, and violence.)  
**Archiving**: Ask first, the answer is always yes.  
**Fandom**: Dexter  
**Pairings**: Dexter/OC/Rita (Hints of: Dexter/Deb (family way), Rudy/Dexter, Rudy/OC, Rudy/Deb, Deb/Doakes)  
**Genre**: Drama/Action/Dark/PWP/AU  
**Time Frame**: Right after Season 1 and before season 2.  
**Summery**: Dexter is drawn back to where it began and where it ended.  
**Author's Note**: Otay, this is my next chapter in this story, it's much longer than the first one. I hope everyone enjoys this and likes Michelle. If anyone is wondering who would portray her in the show if I had my way, you can check out the banner for this fanfic on my home page. Anyway, here is the next chapter.

* * *

_In this world everything changes except good deeds and bad deeds; these follow you as the shadow follows the body_. - Unknown

**Part One: Following Your Shadow**

It seemed as if I lost the ability to speak. Normally I would have said something to refute what she had just said but what would I say. She knew who I was. She knew what I was. It was an odd feeling. As if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. As if I could be myself once more but I couldn't trust her just yet.

Or could I? I was so torn, Harry had never prepared me for this.

"Come with me." She says and once again grabs my hand and I do nothing. Following her.

As I do, I take notice of the house. Memories flashing in and out of my brain as if it was a Polaroid camera, capturing each moment. Dinner with Rudy, mom, and I. Late night junk food binge, probably munchies for mom. Wipe outs with roller blades and horrible games of Sorry.

It was kind of ironic that that used to be mine and Br...Rudy's favorite game.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked and she didn't look back or say a word, instead she stopped once we reached a dining room. It was covered in pictures. Pictures of my family, my biological family. Pictures that I don't remember being taken, pictures I don't remember seeings.

I walked passed her and slowly slide my finger down a lopsided picture of me and my mother. Obviously Rudy had taken it. It was well worn and the edges bent. Looking at the woman who still stood in the door way, I shook my head. "Where are these from?" I asked.

She only moved in and leaned against the large wooden dining room table. Her finger going across a more recent picture. One of Rudy, tracing her finger along his jaw carefully, almost sadly.

Who was she? Who was she to feel that way about Rudy? How could she do that and know who he was?

This was getting awkward. There were to many pieces missing here. Did she know Rudy personally? Had she bought the house and found these things? And why did she care?

I hated un-neat things. I hated unfinished things. I hated things that I didn't understand. Harry hadn't covered this.

I was unbalanced.

"Where are these from?" This time my voice took on a edge. An edge that tried to find it's way to my voice a thousand times a day but most of the time I controlled it. Just like I controlled everything else in my life. I wasn't in control right now though. She was.

"They're mine, well they're ours. They were once Brian's." She says and I shake my head, putting my hands on my hips.

If they were Rudy's, how did she have them? And why was still staring at that damn picture.

It gave me the fucking creeps.

"Look, who ever you are, you're wrong. You don't know me." I say, the lie slides off my tongue easily. Every lie did. Harry taught me how to lie. Without Harry I'd be the dumb kid and then the adult who would be rotting in a jail or already dead. I wouldn't be the smart person I was now and all of that was based on lying.

"But I do know you Dexter. Just like Brian did." She said and looked back at me. Her eyes were soft, like my mother's had been.

"How then? How do you know me?" I asked quickly, my hands balling, sweat making my palms wet. I was out of control and the need was rising.

If some one knew, could I break Harry's code? No, I couldn't. So that meant I'd be either getting the chair or the injection. I wasn't particle to either, I'd rather kill her. But Harry taught me not to kill innocents. She was innocent. Sometimes you just knew. I did with her.

She gave me a smile and took a step forward, her hand reaching out to land on my chest. Could she feel my heart pounding against my chest? Could she see she the sweat? Could she see the fear that was flashing in my eyes? "Because you're like him. You're like Brian." She mummers and my eyes are drawn to hers. They were a pale shade of either green or blue.

"No, I'm not." I mummer and looked down at her hand. I didn't like her touch, then again, I preferred not to be touched.

I didn't want to be like Br...Rudy. I wasn't, I had principles, I didn't kill innocents, only bottom feeders. Like him. I felt my heart give a tug, only when I thought of Brian had I ever felt that tug.

Otherwise, I didn't do tugs.

"Well, I guess not exactly, but you two are cut from the same cloth." She seemed to smile at something. I didn't get the pun. Shaking my head, I step back.

"What do you want...M...Michelle?" I asked. She dropped her hand once I stepped back and hopped up on the table. Her head tilting to the side.

She smiles, actually smiles.

"To help you Dexter, just like Brian helped me." She says and picks up a picture, this one of her and Br...Rudy and passing it to me. I take it. It was an odd scene. He had his arm slug around her shoulders and she was gazing up at him with a look I had never seen. His eyes were bright too. As if he was happy.

When I had seen his eyes, they had been dead.

Well, not dead because I hadn't killed him yet but like mine. Filled with nothing.

"Who are you?" I asked again, dropping the picture next to her. She picks it up again and runs another finger over it.

"The person that knows what you need Dexter. Brian told me about you, and...and now I have to step in for him. To save you." She states plainly and looks up at me. "I can give you what you need Dexter. I gave Brian what he needed and I can give you what you need. "

I didn't understand what she meant. What did I need? I had everything I needed. Deb was sage, Rita and the kids didn't know what I was, I had my boat, and Harry's code. Not to mention a killer setup. I had everything and everything was in it's place. Just like it should be.

Except her. She was a loose end and one that could cost me everything.

"You need me." She whispers, as if she could read my thoughts and stood up from the table. Walking towards me.

"Who understands you Dexter? Really knows you?" She asked and I backed up from her approaching steps.

She made sense, she wasn't supposed too. This could work in my favor though. If she admitted to something, admitted she helped Br...Rudy, then I could kill her. That wouldn't be against Harry's code.

There would be no more loose ends. She'd be at the bottom of the ocean, like all the others.

"How? How can you understand what I do, unless you do it too." I say, my voice shaking and my hands trembling. This could be my chance. This woman could ruin me. This 5 foot nothing woman could take me out with one word out of her mouth.

"No, I've never killed anyone, never seen Brian do it either. He kept me innocent." She says the words like she knew what I was thinking again.

That scared me even more. It scared the crap out of me.

"I know Dexter. I know." She reaches up and slides her hand to my neck and tightening her grip. "You only kill ones who deserve it. Like you killed Brian. But he was prepared for that."

I jerk my neck forward. I thought about pushing her away but I didn't hurt women, unless they deserved it. I could breathe still. She didn't deserve my fist or knife yet.

Soon though, I hoped.

"Oh, he hoped you two would share Deb, but he knew it may not go that way. That's why he asked me to make sure you were taken care of. That you had someone you could talk too." She pressed her small thumb against the base of my neck a bit harder.

_A little more..._I begged silently.

"And that's me Dexter and I do whatever Brian says. Whatever he asked and I will make sure you let me help you." Her hand lets go and crosses her arm.

So close, so very close and this loose end would be gone. She wouldn't be that easy, I already could tell. Instead, I'd have to wait her out.

I was patient if nothing else.

"Why?" The question I seemed to be asking a lot but getting no answer.

"Because I loved Brian. He was the only one who understood. So now I have to do what he asks." My head doesn't get her words but I felt them fade into the background. She loved my brother? She, who was younger than me.

"And what does that have to do with me?" I asked again, so many questions. No enough answers.

"He loved you. You were the only person he loved after his mother. He wanted to take care of you, but he can't. So I will."

* * *

So here we go, I hope y'all like it. Changed the rating so it will be under T until I think it is time to be put to M.


End file.
